Jessica Kerwin

Jessica Kerwin is an Amazon warrior who originally lived in a time period before recorded history. During her time as an Amazon, she successfully made peace with the... more

Jessica Kerwin is an Amazon warrior who originally lived in a time period before recorded history. During her time as an Amazon, she successfully made peace with the dinosaur king, Lord Tyrannus, and ushered in what would have been an age of prosperity and sweet fight scenes, if it weren't for a meteor that crashed onto the earth at the moment the treaty was signed. Everyone on the planet was killed, except for Kerwin, who was flung into a dimensional rift or something and emerged wearing a bow tie and working at Kerasotes Theaters. Here she met David Paine, the greatest man who has ever lived, and quicklylearned the fine arts of selling popcorn and not working very hard. She spends her nights practicing her dual-wielding sword-fighting technique, uncovering ancient texts that allow her to cast levitation and clairvoyance spells, and doing Calculus.