finally getting around to check out Mr. Universe

Watching @JimGaffigan Mr. Universe. Another hilarious one and just listened to him on @AdamCarolla recently #McDonaldsOfTheSoul

Downloaded "Mr. Universe" for $5!

Watching the "Mr. Universe" special that somebody awesome gifted to me! (Thanks Nichole! :) )

Bee tee dubs, it is five bucks and you guys should consider picking it up.

Checking out the new Mr. Universe special.

I can't wait to enjoy his new special!

Fruit good! Cake great! Fruit cake nasty crap. I love that quote.

Will be seeing him live in SEVEN hours!!!

Hey, it's Vinnie the Horse! Why you always on a horse?

"I wish I was asian because then my interest in asian women wouldn't be so creepy."

Listening to his "Economics II" album.

I am dying ... Laying here listening with my husband on #Pandora! LMFAO!!!!!

I do feel guilty at checkout when they’re bagging all my groceries. Talk about feeling lazy.
“Hey, thanks for putting my groceries in my bag. Yeah I could help, but I’ll just watch. I’m... more

I do feel guilty at checkout when they’re bagging all my groceries. Talk about feeling lazy.
“Hey, thanks for putting my groceries in my bag. Yeah I could help, but I’ll just watch. I’m exhausted from picking that crap out. You wanna come home and watch me eat ‘em? I’m lookin’ for a buddy.” #Jim Gaffigan

When you don’t drink, people always need to know why. They’re like, ‘You don’t drink? Why?’ This never happens with anything else. ‘You don’t use mayonnaise? Why? Are you addicted to... more

When you don’t drink, people always need to know why. They’re like, ‘You don’t drink? Why?’ This never happens with anything else. ‘You don’t use mayonnaise? Why? Are you addicted to mayonnaise? Is it OK if I use mayonnaise? I could go outside. #Jim Gaffigan

Just ordered tickets to see him in Omaha on March 21st! Soo freakin' pumped for this!!

I love how he says like what the audience is thinking lmao

Too much standing in church. Can't I lay down and worship? While eating a hot pocket! God pocket!

In tv and films they always show people going to heaven up an escalator, as if heaven was in a mall. Can we stop at orange Julius?

Live in concert in my town!! Show starts in 5 minutes!!

Last night I had four pieces of cake...

Ah Jim Mr HOT POCKETS! God I love that.

Going to see Jim tonight! excited.

"Delivery is a combination of my two favorite things: eating and not moving"

I buy my groceries from Sharper Image, Skymall

King Baby. I WILL see him in March, I WILL, I WILL.

"Hmmm... I need to go to the post office - but that'd probably mean I have to put on pants... Guess I'll have to go next week."
In my case, switch replace "post office" with "grocery store," and you... more

"Hmmm... I need to go to the post office - but that'd probably mean I have to put on pants... Guess I'll have to go next week."
In my case, switch replace "post office" with "grocery store," and you know how I feel right now.

chop down that tree.. bring it in here. take these lights, bring them out there..

christmas..... why is there a pine tree in our living room.... i like, it. we're gonna decorate it for Jesus.

"'Meow meow meow meow meow~' Remember that from Mister Rogers' Neighborhood? And they wonder why we do drugs."

Listening to "Doing My Time" HOOOOOOT POCKET!