because he makes me rofl

Charlie is the coolest guy.

♥Let me pop a quick "H" on this box, this way we all know its filled with the hornets♥

"Storms out, hatchets out!" haha

All right, look, I’m just going to walk you through it, so pay attention. Okay, look, the pretty lady gets naked, of course, and I help her into the prototype, yes? My hands sort of guiding along... more

All right, look, I’m just going to walk you through it, so pay attention. Okay, look, the pretty lady gets naked, of course, and I help her into the prototype, yes? My hands sort of guiding along her body making sure that it fits properly. Now the dress is starting to look fantastic, you know? And she feels very excited, she feels very sensual, and I feel very sensual about her because she looks so good. And then, you know, we chit-chat a little bit, no big deal, but she asks me back to her place. Where did that come from? I accept, you know? And then we chit-chat at her place, it’s no big deal, but eventually she says, ‘Do you want to make love, Charlie?’

We live and die by the crab, Dee.

discussing kitten mittens & jean shorts

Charlie: WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! When the hell did I put Green Man on?
Dennis: I don't know!
Frank: That lizard talks!
Charlie: Where? Where? I don't like lizards!
Mac: We don't have time for this... more

Charlie: WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! When the hell did I put Green Man on?
Dennis: I don't know!
Frank: That lizard talks!
Charlie: Where? Where? I don't like lizards!
Mac: We don't have time for this! Frank, just give us the gun!
(Frank cocks the gun and points it at Mac and Dennis)
Mac and Dennis: WHOA! WHOA! WHOA!
Frank: Lizard, am I standing in poop

You should have seen how passionate he got when I showed him the dick flyer.

Charlie: Principal McIntyre, I recently starting mentoring one of the kids here.
Principal McIntyre: Really? That's odd, because you're a janitor.

Well, when I showed up this morning I didn't have a formal resume on me so I was sort of hoping the photograph of Mr. Jenner could represent the standard of excellence I'm hoping to bring to his... more

Well, when I showed up this morning I didn't have a formal resume on me so I was sort of hoping the photograph of Mr. Jenner could represent the standard of excellence I'm hoping to bring to his position.

Charlie: You keep on using this word "jabroni" and... it's awesome

Hans Vermhit... He always chases after me...

Spa day... you mean like spaghetti

I have a friend that is a total wildcard, just like Charlie

So pumped for Sunny!

very excited about the premiere tonite! just watched horrible bosses get ready! it was awesome loved it! charlie never lets you down

Can't wait for tonight!

I will smash your face into a jelly!