"history is usually written by the winners since the poor are usually hungry and illiterate" - Winston Churchill

i wish i was scramping

Biden Unveils New Health Initiative To Make U.S. Women Hotter

www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=hAoyItu6OfM

"And Lady Gaga shocks fans by wearing a dress made out of Madonna" Love @brookealvarez!

Hilarious stuff. I love it!

Hysterical reporting. I can't wait for the new season to start!!

The Onion is o k, but when I try to check into RT or Current it shows up nothing? Why not GetGlue?

Catching up on some old Onion News episodes...

God bless the Onion

If only the real news was this entertaining!

"I have always wanted to die by freezing. It's peaceful, and my corpse would be perfectly preserved for all time."

Yay they are running ones I haven't seen!!

Have never seen this before, my Hubby turned it on and it's hilarious! LOL :-)

Love the idea of 3ft deep rivers of corn syrup!!

I love getting my news RAW!

God this show makes me howl!

iIam willing to be a frontgirl...touting, spewing rants and whatnots.....call me!

Facebook a massive online surveilence program run by the CIA brilliant.

This is like fox news crossed with the day today, very funny.

I wish we had the guts to put on such a brilliant show here in the UK. But who'd be the female anchor? Send me your suggestions please.

#OnionNewsNetwork #onn s01e10 #AmericanDream image goo.gl/gGHxu
Newsreader: "Right now we're continuing the 'Onion News Network's' coverage of the death of the American dream. The end came... more

#OnionNewsNetwork #onn s01e10 #AmericanDream image goo.gl/gGHxu
Newsreader: "Right now we're continuing the 'Onion News Network's' coverage of the death of the American dream. The end came at 12:14 pm this afternoon when the last person in the nation to believe that America is the land of boundless opportunity, that is Edward Tuffy, a bar owner in Pennington, Illinois, quietly let go of the dream while watching television and eating cereal on his couch."
…
Reporter: "Mr. Tuffy, can you briefly take us through what happened?"
Edward Tuffy: "Well I run this bar, 'Tuffy's Tavern.' Uh, been there 15 years, and I had this plan that I was gonna start a couple of locations. Like maybe a small chain, you know, add a grill, some palm trees on the wall. Make it like a real cuisine atmosphere.
Reporter: "So expand your business, and build a better life for you and your children?"
Edward Tuffy: "Yeah, like that. So I woke up this morning, and I decided I'd try to get myself toge...

Love this fast-paced show. They sail sooo close to the wind.

Sex in America - damn, I've had this episode on the DVR for 2 months!

#OnionNewsNetwork #onn s01e09 #RealAmerica image goo.gl/j0IR8
Newsreader: "Congress, today, reauthorized funding for Facebook, the massive online surveillance program run by the CIA... more

#OnionNewsNetwork #onn s01e09 #RealAmerica image goo.gl/j0IR8
Newsreader: "Congress, today, reauthorized funding for Facebook, the massive online surveillance program run by the CIA. According to department of homeland security reports, Facebook has replaced almost every other CIA information gathering program since it was launched in 2004."
CIA Director: "After years of secretly monitoring the public, we were astounded so many people would willingly publicize where they live, their religious and political views, an alphabetized list of all their friends, personal email addresses, phone numbers, hundreds of photos of themselves, uh, and even status updates about what they were doing moment to moment. It is truly a dream come true for the CIA."
#TVShow #TV #television #FacebookRunByTheCIA #facebook #cia #surveillance #BigBrother

#OnionNewsNetwork #onn s01e08 #StockMarketCrash image: goo.gl/FtxMs
Newsreader: "For years, scientists have been unable to explain why this typeface is so funny. But, a recent neurological... more

#OnionNewsNetwork #onn s01e08 #StockMarketCrash image: goo.gl/FtxMs
Newsreader: "For years, scientists have been unable to explain why this typeface is so funny. But, a recent neurological study has shed light on the mystery of Comic Sans. Stuart Adams has the story, in 'The Lab Report.'"
Reporter: "Printer broken.' 'Please keep refrigerator closed.' 'Employees must wash hands.' Ordinary messages become side-splittingly funny when written in comic sans. But, why? At Princeton university, psychologists have been trying to answer that question for years."
Researcher: "We showed volunteers sentences in comic sans, and had separate control groups who read the same passages, written in fonts like Times New Roman or Palatino. No other fonts elicited uproarious laughter like, uh, comic sans did."
Reporter: "A major breakthrough came when Nicholson had people look at sex sentences in languages they could not read."
Researcher: "Then, I knew that it was actually something to do ...

Artificial Intelligence episode so funny from the top #OnionNewsNetwork #onn Animal Hoarders: I think the next one's about monkeys. Facial Tattoos: Just because I clearly lack good judgment doesn't... more

Artificial Intelligence episode so funny from the top #OnionNewsNetwork #onn Animal Hoarders: I think the next one's about monkeys. Facial Tattoos: Just because I clearly lack good judgment doesn't mean I won't make a good employee. Middle aged Hispanic Men lining up for the new Twighlight movie. Genius

Down with O'Brady! Long live Queen Brooke!

"...be tried as a black American male"

#OnionNewsNetwork #onn #s01e07 #TheRealObama image: goo.gl/HofoJ
Newsreader: "Congress has passed a bill naming incomprehensible shouting the official language of the United States. After... more

#OnionNewsNetwork #onn #s01e07 #TheRealObama image: goo.gl/HofoJ
Newsreader: "Congress has passed a bill naming incomprehensible shouting the official language of the United States. After attracting the attention of several leaders in Washington last year, the initiatives political supporters argued for months that the nation should formerly recognize incomprehensible shouting as the only truly American way to communicate."
...
Newsreader: "But opponents say that legislation is unnecessary."
Interviewee: "Everyone already knows that if you live in America, you have to know how to scream and holler while making absolutely no sense at all."
...
Newsreader: "Under the new law, public school classes will only be taught in incomprehensible shouting and government agencies will no longer offer translators to non shouting speakers. In addition, a new test will be added to the nationalization process, whereby potential immigrants must prove they have a working knowledge of inc...

Season finale! Brooke Alvarez looks more glamorous than usual on this episode.